🎼Choirs have their own dynamics, 🎼some are even musical. 🎵

I must have all eyes, up here. Watch me.  Men, I do not want to see the tops of your heads.  (Your bald spots are lovely) but for Heaven’s sake, do you not know the first three words and notes by now without looking down? …..Wait, …wait,…Thank you, smile, lighten the mood, let’s begin…

Any and all choirs I’ve been in since 5th grade are made up mostly of women.  Good men are hard to come by, (in choirs, too!)  Women, on the other hand, those who love to sing, seek out choirs wherever they land.  I did last winter during my two month hiatus from freezing.  You see, last January, my good man, aka husband of 31+ years, Joe, and I went to our condo in SW FL for 10 days.  Spoiled rotten wife here, looked him right in the eyes and said, ok whined, “I don’t wanna go home and I’m not kidding!” That’s right, I decided to stay at the condo in FL, alone, instead of going back to “death by sleet and freezing rain, made all pretty and nice, nice, with an occasional covering of snow, CT.”  Ok, yes, we have those years of 78” of snow, too, just not all at once like Buffalo! (Those people from Buffalo must be C-r-a-z…actual Buffalos!) But, (there’s always a big butt!) not returning home meant NO New England Chamber Choir! (NECC)   NOT, no husband, 2 grown children, 3 animals, and elderly parents, BUT NO CHOIR!  Joe gave me his blessings, saying, “have fun!”  Off he went, back to work, while I stayed in my flip flops for the next two months.  (Not sure how I ended up with him, but Thank you, God!)….

The following Sunday, off to Mass I went, all alone.  (I/we attend Mass, EVEN on vacation!)  FYI: There are no shortages of Roaming Catholic SnowBirds in SW FL!  From Fort Myers down thru Naples, there are several Yuge RC churches. The churches I’ve gone to all have lovely cushioned pews. (Kind of wonder from where the word “pew” originated? Ok, bad joke.  I loved, loved, loved taking care of my old timers!)  Each weekend, at any given church, there are at least 6 Masses, and that’s just on Sunday!  At almost every Mass, the faithful are packed in like sardines.  Standing room only and it’s NOT Christmas!  Imagine THAT?!  (Guessing JetBlue’s marketing genius must be a practicing Catholic in SW FL!)  An easy, 20-25 Eucharistic Ministers distribute Communion and the sardine Offertory collections? 20+Ks/ weekend.  No lie.  It’s printed in their glossy 10+ page Weekly Bulletin! (Yeah, but during the summer? Zilch!)

So, I’m singing away, yes, to every part of the Mass that is sung, and doesn’t the lady next to me whisper, “you have a lovely voice.”  Which to me, this easily intimidated Mezzo that I am, immediately thought she meant, “Pipe down, sister. The Evangelicals are down the street!” (Ps, their church is the size of a Super Walmart, I kid you not!) Mezzos are sometimes called 2nd Sopranos, which in athletic terms, means we get the Silver Medal.  Mezzos=Middle. Our voices are lower than the high voice, higher maintenance, requiring praise regularly, Diva, Gold Medal 1st Sopranos.  The Mezzos are then higher than the “I’m so glad I’m not singing harmony ALL the time” poor Altos. And the Bronze Medal goes to all 15 Altos!  Sorry, you’re gonna have to take turns with it.

What’s there to say about those 1st Sopranos? What’s not there to say about those 1st Sopranos?  They love those high notes. Drives them absolutely nuts when our director says, “get lighter (aka softer!) as you sing higher!”  Aka, DESCrendo when all they want to is cresCENDO! Does it make me chuckle to myself? I plead the 5th.  Depends upon if we’re singing with them or not.  Aren’t most Mezzos just frustrated 1st Sopranos? This one is.

In my CT choir, many of us Mezzos always assume we’re the ones who screwed up, easily crumbling in our chairs mentally and sometimes, physically.  But, there are a few of us who, after crumbling, get ticked, and sit right back up, ready to show ‘em.  “Yeah, well, we can hit those high Gs, too!  Sometimes even better than the 1st Sopranos!” On occasion, though, it’s just…Cue Eeyore:  “He’ll nevvvvver notice us, cuz we’re juuussst the Mezzos.”  Mezzos frequently are asked to sing soprano here, alto there…and so on.  We’re definitely flexible, musically anyway!  Our music has more highlighted markings on it than a AAA Triptik! (For you Millennials, a Triptik was the GPS for baby boomers.  What’s a baby boomer? Oy ee vay!)

Ok, so by now, I’ve ticked off bald men, Diva 1st Sopranos, Crumbling Mezzos, Buffalos and oh yeah, those poor Altos! They never get the melody, just harmony.  Ever hear someone harmonizing in church, probably an Alto!  They rarely get any credit even in a small ensemble. Why not? Because the Soprano voice is simply more exposed.  Overheard being said to an Alto, “Oh, you were singing, too? I didn’t even know it!”  Honestly, Altos are probably better “musicians” because again, not having the melody, they have to work harder to learn their part. Last but not least, they get yelled at, a lot, for singing or going flat.  I truly feel sorry for them. They are the Rodney Dangerfields of the choir, “they get no respect!”

Next up: The men, all 6 of them!  2 Tenors, 2 Baritones and 2 Basses…..oh, I’m just kidding.  In NECC, we have about 20 male voices, 10 that can even read music! They memorize really well. (Kidding!) And, on a different note, ya know what, they all just look so tired all the time.  One tenor, Dave, used to work and live in Middletown, 5 minutes from where we rehearse.  Then, out of the blue, he moved an hour and fifteen minutes away.  First night driving home after our regular 7:30- 9:30pm Wed. night choir practice, he missed his exit, he kept driving in the “how the heck did I get here mode” and almost ended up in New York!  Dave, loyal to our choir? 200%.  Very importantly, we make sure to take a break midway through rehearsal and feed Dave and few others, cookies.

The common denominator among us musical singing types is, we’re all sensitive people, some more than others, like ME!  It is a full time job for any director to stroke the egos, encourage the weak, yell when needed, but above all, make great music.  It has been said, that most choirs schedule concerts just so they have an excuse to meet once a week and rehearse!!  If you’re in a choir, this will make total sense to you.

So, after Mass ends, I bob and weave my way against the flow of exiting walkers, wheelchairs and white haired sardines, towards the choir area. I dig down deep and cresCENDO my Mezzo nerve up to introduce myself to the director.  I ask him if I can join his choir for 1 month. (What am I nuts? Originally, I was only staying in FL for 1 month. It morphed into 2 months of 80 degree sunny weather quite easily!)

The director seemed much younger than even me, who at 58yrs old in FL = spring chicken!!  I told him that I’ve sung with NECC in CT for 10 years and all through school and in several other church choirs. He heard me say CT and then gladly shared he was a piano performance major and graduate from HARTT.  He would be glad to have me. Yippie, I’m in!  I spent two months singing my heart out and loved it.  If I live long enough, maybe I’ll become a Mezzo/Diva! (Don’t kid yourself, Kate, that ain’t ever gonna happen.)

xo, Kate 12/4/17

http://www.newenglandchamberchoir.org